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Friday, January 26, 2007

Women- powerful or not?



Today I read many silly articles for women, you know the kind: advice for your relationship, how to meet the perfect man, how to have passionate sex and so on. I know some impressive career women who despite their position, financial status, power, when they meet a man they like, they lose their mind and emotions go wild. From this moment on they become like any other women, maybe even more emotional and needy. They start having some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them and tell them how special they are for providing them moral, mental and emotional support.




There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love.

I am sure this article will not be liked by women and maybe some will call me bad names. But we need to face the facts. I admit to be somewhat similar to the women I previously talked about. But I try to find a balance in everything I do, this means to have a personal life, career, relationship, friends and so on. And if I would give any of the mentioned areas too much priority then the balance will be ruined which is not good. Of course nobody can find a mathematical equation to keep the perfect balance. Sometimes one or more areas of our lives will be neglected for other(s) but the important thing is to try and even plan a balance.

I think no matter what prince Charming we have found along the way, we should not change our lifestyle, our preferences and in the end not change ourselves. We need to realize that we are not so independent as we would like and as we state. Of course we achieved financial, social and professional independence but we don't have to neglect our emotional dependence which will always make romantic, silly and childish creatures from us, with bursts of tears and tantrums when we least expect it.

Therefore let's spread our wings, face our femininity, admit we are not completely independent, smile and cry, be happy and sad! Be true to ourselves!




Tags: Girls' blogoshpere club

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posted by Cristina Banu at Friday, January 26, 2007

11 Comments:

  • Women have different types of needs. Career related, love related, friendship related, etc. Emotional needs, in some cases, imply some patting on the back. Other times, just having someone to eat diner with and forget all about work. I totally agree we cannot ignore them or our romantic/love life and that there should be a balance: not forget your friends and family to breathe the air he breathes only, not drag him around everywhere and make your friends spill their guts in front of him, etc.

    But saying you do not need to change your lifestyle is a bit wrong. You do, cause you make room for another part of your life. You change plans and think differently in some situations (if some friend tells you let's disappear for a week when his birthday is that week for example). You start to have the couple mentality in certain situation and that is not necessarily bad, as long as it is kept under control.

    Another think, people have a twisted understanding of being successful and independent: it means you are financially independent and successful in what you do, not that you have discovered a miraculous way of living with no feelings and no companionship :)

    By Blogger Alina, at 1:55 PM  

  • As I have read and seen, a great percentage of successful women work more than 12h per day hence no time for companionship. This is what I was refering by career women.
    I agree with the fact that some plans change when you start thinking in 2, I only want to stress out that we can act a bit like men in relationships: be more relaxed, enjoy our private time, not stress them with calls all day long and questions about how they are, what they did, what they ate etc. I think that if we have evolved financially, professionally, we should also improve our relationships behaviors and then the world is ours :))

    By Blogger Cristina Banu, at 2:04 PM  

  • I think this behavior is mostly related to who you are, not sex. Yes, women do it more often.

    Working 12h/day is being workaholic, not a career-woman. There are days when you stay more, but doing it each day, everyday is a problem in itself. And there are always weekends to feel the need for companionship :)

    By Blogger Alina, at 3:04 PM  

  • Yes thank God for the weekends :)
    My favorite days ...

    By Blogger Cristina Banu, at 10:12 PM  

  • Mine too. Especially when I spend them in bed, not able to get up or do what I should be doing. I hate getting colds!!! Gata, enough complaining :P

    By Blogger Alina, at 9:57 AM  

  • I understant what you're saying.. I was like that 2 days ago :(

    By Blogger Cristina Banu, at 12:08 PM  

  • Hi,

    I come by way of oglinda sparta.

    Nice post by the way. I'm very interested in the idea of sex roles and could probably argue about them all day long. But as I dont have a day worth of time, I'll cut my comment down a bit.

    My comments can get a bit analytical, so forgive my rather dry method.

    "There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love."

    I can say with certainty that anyone acting tough is not. Anyone acting arogant is not confident. And anyone that has something to prove is quite insecure. I suppose covering up insecurity is just something we do despite our better judgement.

    "But I try to find a balance in everything I do, this means to have a personal life, career, relationship, friends and so on."

    I guess you just cant do everything right? I think this is a good approach to living a happy life. For example it may be important to you to be in good shape. But you cant spend all day working out. So you do your best and move on to other important things.

    Finally

    "I think no matter what prince Charming we have found along the way, we should not change our lifestyle, our preferences and in the end not change ourselves."

    This is quite true. Just remember that we can all stand to learn from eachother. Dont change for 'him' per-se, but change if he is a good influence. Same goes for guys btw.

    Inevitably though, where you have a great perspective on how women should approach life, you are still defining the femimine role. So I admire you advice. But I think you fail to place it in good context. This is good advice for everyone, not just women. So long as the notion of feminine and masculine exist (even in a positive sense) we miss out there we are all just poeple. Some just happen to be better drivers than others. Not saying who, but you know. =P

    Again, nice post. The girl in the first picture is hot.

    By Blogger Fyurien, at 2:02 AM  

  • Fyurien thanks for stopping by and leaving a very interesting comment.
    I agree the advice is good for everyone disregarding the gender. I have posted about women because I am a feminist eventhough I sometimes criticize women because I think about myself, what I want to change about me and how I do not want to be in the future. Although I was raised to believe that women are stupid, I respect and believe women are not only smart but also posess a high capacity of work, sacrifice, care and optimism. For me, working women who also take care of their family are the real heroes and too bad only few men see this.
    Thanks again for your comment and I will expect you again in the future.

    By Blogger Cristina Banu, at 11:15 AM  

  • Hi,

    I suppose I have a great deal of respect for women simply because I was raised my whole life by one. But I realized not too long ago that sort of respect should be given out to everyone. This sort of thinking removes some of the social standards and understanding that we are accustomed do.

    I liked your post very much and hope I wasnt overtly critical. I think that so long as we keep thinking of sex roles, wether it be in good light or bad, we are still doing harm. Funny enough, after reading this post I got inspired to write one of my own.

    Lastly, I think in the end having a balanced life has a great deal of value. Most of these social standards tend to push us to one extreme or another. Moderation really just isnt that interesting =).

    Keep up the good work =D.

    By Blogger Fyurien, at 7:39 PM  

  • Well dear, it is great to be independent just to feel yourself abandoned from time to time in your lover's arms. Extreme ways of being make us feel each moment.
    Andreea

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:30 AM  

  • Yep, that's great indeed :) Thanks for stopping by Andreea and you're always welcome here.

    By Blogger Cristina Banu, at 11:41 AM  

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